you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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