so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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