remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
