I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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