The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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