how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
