Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
