okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
