I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
only you would photoshop your dick
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
