Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
