go do what you do best...puke behind churches
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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