I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
