We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
