Life is so much better after having sex.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
