I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
