I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
