Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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