I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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