so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
