I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
