Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
