just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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