I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I will pee on everything he values.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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