sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
