I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
