I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
