i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
