if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So much rum. So many feels.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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