You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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