and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
God, I missed his penis.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
