I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
God gave him joint rollers for hands
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
