I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
