just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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