Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
