Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
