I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
