Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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