I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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