You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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