can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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