i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize