Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
