So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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