Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
