I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
