We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
