he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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