I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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