she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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