Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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