I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
