i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she told me i tasted like america
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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