Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize