soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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