If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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