any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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