I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Randomize