i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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