Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
