just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Of course I have a pirate flag
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
