Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
