I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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