Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
